The Beach

I’ve been hesitating to start a blog for almost a year. I don’t know why but I just didn’t know how to start, what to start with and most importantly why??? Maybe because I wanted to start off with an earth shaking blog that would perhaps change the world and attract attention to it from around the globe. But then today I finally realized that im just kidding myself. First of all the best pieces of imagination that I could come up with are already submitted for checking and will get me my grade soon, and let me assure you all my brain power is used up coughing up new theories about how machines work and inventing new phenomenon. And secondly I think this blog is about writing what’s in your heart and not caring who is going to read it anyway.

So let me start off with an introduction. I am crazy. I think that is the best word that describes me. But then just a word is never enough and since I don’t want to end this just yet, ill talk about the one thing that best brings out the real me. That’s the beach. That one particular beach in Chennai where I go to when I feel I just can’t take what life throws at me any longer.

I first saw the beach in my 1st year. I am kind of an electronics freak and we had a project to make in our 1st year, it was a walking speed measuring device, and I needed some components for it. So I took out my trusty photon and went searching for an electronics shop. I usually have a “keep left” policy when roaming around and so that I take the first left turn I get to and keep going so that I can come back anytime by just going right. Well I cycled for quite a while, about 15 – 20 mins till I came upon some residential area. I knew there was no hope of finding a shop there but somehow I just kept on going. Well after a while, I found myself cycling under a beautiful canopy of trees, but this wasn’t like a road that goes on forever, at the end of the tree tunnel there was nothing, absolutely nothing. Just clear blue sky. And it just drew me on and on like a magnet. And at the end of it that’s when I saw it for the first time. And it was beautiful. The sun was just about to set and even though you can’t see the sunset at the beach it felt like heaven. I kept my cycle away and sat down doing nothing, just taking in everything, the sights and sounds and just the feeling of absolute peace. I forgot everything else, I just didn’t care about anything but the beach at that moment. The sea always takes my breath away and this was a moment I would never forget.

Well eventually I got hungry and it grew quite dark, so I came back. But the beach never left me. Since then I’ve been there countless times. When I got 4/40 in my thermodynamics course, when I got 20/20 for the first time in a quiz, when I had a fight with a close friend, when we made up again, the beach has always calmed and I’ve always gone to it whenever I needed to get away from everything. It’s like a real person to me. It understands what I feel, takes away my anxieties and gives me peace.

And sometimes it makes me do crazy things. As I had told you right at the beginning, I am crazy. One fine day I was up chatting till around 1 am and since it was a Friday we didn’t have classes the next day, so I proceeded to see a movie till 3:30 (Shawshank’s Redemption, if you haven’t seen it yet then see it right now). The movie moved me and I don’t know why but I felt like running after seeing it. You see I’m not a fan of jogging or any other physical exertion, but running felt like an expression of the sense of complete freedom I felt, not a form of exercise. I had first decided to run on the route that professors took early in the morning, but as I took out my cycle I changed my mind. I wanted to go to the beach. And so I went, I reached there around 4am. There was such beauty hidden in that serene darkness, you could see white waves crashing against each other and see some small light from a ship far away but other than that nothing. In the morning there is always a clear distinction between the earth and the sky, there is always a definite horizon, but at night there is nothing, all is one. The whole beach was empty, just me and the black sea. And as I walked up to it the feeling of joy that rushed through me is indescribable. I felt like I owned the beach. I walked right up to the water front and although I didn’t get wet, I sat down quite close and closed my eyes. Now, my mother has tried to teach me how to meditate quite a few times, but that time when I closed my eyes, I think that was the closest I’ll ever get to meditation. I just listened and felt the cool breeze blowing on my face for almost half an hour. And then the sun started to come up. I’ve seen quite a few sunsets but very few sunrises over the beach. And this one topped the list. But as I sat there watching the sun rise I suddenly remembered why I had come to the beach in the first place. And so I started to run, and I ran and ran and till I could almost collapse, which was by the way just about 15-20 mins. Then I went back to the water and splashed some of it on my face. The coolness of the water revived me completely, and I stood up again and looked around. By this time the beach was quite crowded, but the people here all keep to their own business, which is just the way I want it to be. And the sun had finally risen fully and was shining brightly. So I went back to my cycle at about 5 am. But I wasn’t finished yet. I cycled fast, very fast, the whole way and as I almost reached the back gate I let out a roar of perhaps victory, (I don’t know why) which startled a guy I passed by who was brushing his teeth. I came back to my room, took a bath and after an almost perfect start to my day, went to sleep.

Yes the beach brings out the real me. I don’t have to hide myself from it within a shell, like I have to from people. I can open myself up in front of it and rest assured that I will always walk away absolutely at peace. It helps me concentrate, helps me think clearly and sort out the things that are running through my mind. It helps me understand better (I went up to it a day before my end semester physics exam). And that brings me to what I am. I understand stuff. I am not an engineer, not a researcher, not an aspiring MBA, not even a guitar player. As I said, I understand stuff. Or at least try to. I try to understand everything. How things work, how nature works, how people think, what people think. I ask a lot of why’s (just like I did at the very beginning). Why this happens, why this does not happen, why someone did what they did and what caused it. I empathize, I understand. That is what I am. Told you I was crazy didn’t I?
Well that’s that for my introduction and about the beach. But more will follow about the beach. I still have at least a year and half more here. And I’m sure I’m going to beach again quite a few times. I love it.